When someone asks, “what got you into yoga?”, I usually skip this part. The part that truly inspired the beginning of my practice. 

I came from a family of 5, my parents, two older brothers and myself, but for most of my childhood an additional 5 to 6 people lived in our home. To put it plainly, my mom takes in anyone who needs love, support and a place to stay.  First it was my maternal grandparents, and my mom’s brother every time he got out of jail, then when my papa died, we took in my dad's father who suffered from Alzheimers. My dad’s cousin, Charles, who dealt with addiction, mental illness, and sexual orientation came over one day to help my mom. I was home sick from school that day. I remember laying on the couch resting and hearing clinging and clashing and yelling from the laundry room. Charles was washing clothes but trying to prop open the washer with a butterknife so he could make sure they were washing. The lid had to be down to wash, but eventually he found a way to watch the clothes wash, for whatever reason and from that day on, he lived with us, too. He was one of a kind; despite his internal struggles, he was so loving, so caring and a huge help. Caring for this extended family was a full time job, but my mom already had a full time job, luckily she worked from home. My whole family pitched in and helped as we took in grandparents, cousins, uncles, with the initiation of my mom’s golden heart. 

By the time I realized how valuable it is to have close relationships with your siblings, my oldest brother Nick was already out of the house for good. He left for Ohio State University to study film. That has always been his passion. When we watch home videos from before I was even born, 3 year old Nick was always asking, “Can I see what’s in there?!” ‘there’ being the video camera. Today, he and his wife, Lisa both work in the film and video industry here in Pittsburgh. I am grateful for our proximity now, I feel like I am making up for time I felt was lost. 

I was really close with my other brother, Joey, who is not even two years older than me. We went to school together, we lived in the craziness of our home together. He was always into music. He worked at Guitar Center for years growing up, played guitars, built guitars, played drums and whatever else. I think back and I recall both of my brothers spending countless hours in our basement. Hours of movies for Nick. Hours of music for Joey. Meanwhile, I was outside talking to any neighbors that walked past the house, specifically those with strollers.

My senior year of high school- I was in a workout craze with my friend Jordan. We were doing everything we could: spinning, running,we even went to Walmart one night and purchased Carmen Electra Strip Tease on DVD for crying out loud. One day her mom asked us to go to a yoga class with her at Studio Oxygen, so obviously, we went. It was…….weird. Hot. Foreign. Confusing. Hard. People were breathing all crazy…. Overall, I found it weird and never went back. 

Eventually the time came to make a decision between my two options for college: stay home and attend Youngstown State University or move away to Columbus and go to CCAC. I was indecisive and torn. I wanted to get away and finally have a space of my own, but everything I knew and everyone I loved was in Youngstown. It came down to the wire, I had to make a decision. One morning I woke up with pain on my right side body, it was stress induced shingles. (sidenote: mental health affects EVERYTHING about our physical health.)

Off to Columbus I went... I moved in with one of my best friends, Kim. Coming home to a place I considered “normal” after having what I perceived as a non-traditional living situation from the age of 7 or so, was incredible. I wasn' t sure exactly how I was going to pay for rent and living expenses, but it took me by surprise that I somehow buckled down and worked harder. Both of my brother’s lived in Columbus before, they both worked at a large format digital printing company, Franklin Imaging, so naturally, I did too.

Even before working there I was often referred to as “Nick’s sister” and “Joey’s sister”, almost like I didn't have an identity of my own. I recall one specific moment when I was asked, “what're you into? Nick is into film, Joey is into music, what about you?”

Whenever approached with that question, I replied, “I am into what other people are into. What are you into?”. This was not a brush off, passive answer. I was into people. I love to hear stories of their upbringing, successes, hardships, family, passions- anything and everything. And I still do. I have a bachelor's degree in Psychology and a minor in anthropology. I love people and the way they live and have lived.

One day not long after moving away to college, I got a call from my roommate at the hospital. She had blacked out and couldn't breathe It turned out she was having a panic attack. I spent the night with her and introduced her to some guided meditations on YouTube. Together we got through it and life went on, as it does. 

Every night I would call my mom on my way home from work. I would get to my apartment on Summit Avenue and began the dreaded search for parking. Parallel parking, something very new to my 19 year old self and I was far from mastering it. After 18 circles around nearby blocks and 40 attempts at parking, I could finally put my car in park, walk a few blocks, climb a few flights of stairs and arrive at my empty, quiet apartment. Kim had a boyfriend and she was always at his place. I went from a household of 11 to 1. It wasn’t easy for me, but it is what I chose. I went to class, I went to work, I called my mom on the way home. I went to class, I went to work, I called my mom on the way home. Progressively and noticeably getting more and more irritated, stressed and frustrated about my new life. Come winter, the daily stress of parallel parking intensified. It seems silly in hindsight, but it was very, very real at the time. One night I vividly remember screaming, holding my breath and throwing my phone into the backseat hearing my mom in a distant echo, “Lauren! Lauren, are you ok? You need to come home”. Not something I wanted to hear. I grabbed my phone, told her I was fine and abruptly hung up because what 19 year old wants to hear their parent’s concern? I already knew something had to give. 

The sun came up the next day and I woke up, alone. I walked down to the High Street Starbucks and grabbed a coffee, or some full blown sugar and milk concoction sounds more accurate. Anyways, I sat down at a stool that overlooks High Street. I took the lid off of my coffee and enjoyed the aromas as I observed this man, a not very well kept man sweeping his arms up above his head and folding- over and over again. It took me back to that very odd experience at Studio Oxygen and I continued to observe and silently say to myself, “what a weirdo, why would he be doing that on the sidewalk on the busiest street on campus” and within that judgemental thought I caught myself. I questioned myself for being that way and quickly another, more gentle thought came to me. I silently said to myself, “he is not harming anyone or anything. He is doing his mind and body good and if anything promoting the same for others” and that is exactly what he did for me. I shook myself out of the daydream and went back to my empty apartment, moved our coffee table and put on a yoga and meditation YouTube Video.

That is what got me into yoga. That “weirdo” on High Street doing sun salutations… 

I finished up my school year and put in my two weeks before my lease was up. moved everything out of my apartment, stayed one extra day to see a Modest Mouse concert, slept on the floor and drove to Youngstown the next day. Back to my crazy, loving full house. I finally went back to Studio Oxygen, made it my yoga home and practiced until every step felt like my feet were kissing the ground.

That initial yoga bliss didn’t last. I guess you could call it the honeymoon stage. Life got very real again soon after. Yoga is steadfast. It is what I turn to through the ebb and flow, the ups and the downs, the good, bad and ugly phases of life. If there is one breakthrough I’ve noticed over the years is that I now practice yoga because I love and care for the health of my mind and body, not for punishment and desire to change them both.

To all those people who once wondered what I’m into, I can now excitedly say I’ve found “my thing”. I’ve found my passion, which to me, isn’t too different than what it was before. It is still the love of people, hearing their stories, sharing in their love, empathizing with their losses. The only difference is that I hope to add some value to their lives in return by sharing the practice that has added so much value to mine.

Lauren VerzilliDirector of Yoga

Catch Lauren and our other yoga teachers online! ASCEND Yoga To Go